Hi! I'm very, very new to pagan ways, but I feel like I've been experiencing a calling from a patron or guide. I did my first little 'ritual' tonight, where I just sat down and poured us both tea. I used a loose tea that I like, placed a share in an agate bowl and a share in a cup for me, hoping that this sharing might bring me closer to whoever is calling me. I explained my hopes, that I could have someone or something to believe in, to learn from, to pray to, and while I don't have the divine knowledge to say I'm ready, I want to be. I drew three tarot cards from my Shadowscapes deck, all right-side-up. The first was the hierophant. The second was the seven of pentacles. The third was judgement. I interpreted this as follows: I'm questioning my place in the schemes of the divine, and questioning what I've been taught all my life. I'm making new choices, a sort of rebirth, and I'm finally acknowledging that I'm hearing a call. The hierophant is where it gets tricky, because yes, I'm part of a group (pagans), and I'm educating myself and forming a belief system, but the hierophant also signifies conformity and traditionalism. I'm afraid that if I answer this call, I'll be guided into conforming to a mold I don't fit in and becoming someone other than myself. Or could this just mean the one calling me would prefer I stick to more traditional methods of communication, more strict rituals?