Pagan Journeys > In the Broom Closet

My first wedding as a Minister

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vordan:
My one and only wedding I did as High Priest went really well and as smooth as silk, so from wedding experience I have nothing to add. From my 34 years in sales to support myself I do have something to add. A very effective technique with people who are difficult is to repeat back to them what they have said, so they can hear how unreasonable it sounds. This technique also serves to give it right back so they realise that they are not going to get away with being an ass. You must also give them an out a way of saving face. Sun Tzu always said give an enemy an out don't make them get their back up. If you remember the movie, Roadhouse, the advice was be firm but polite. You will notice that each statement is politely slapped down, calmness and a smile is needed to make this work. Ask the mother things like,

"So, you feel that you should of been able to chose the color of the wedding dress?"
Do you not feel that this is her day? I know as a parent it is sometimes difficult to trust in your child's decisions but she is grown. Ahhh letting go must be so hard."  Big smile and look of sympathy.

"Black is a traditional color for clergy perhaps you should form your own religion if you want it differently.ha ha, Yes that would be very cool lets work on that." Smile and laugh a little., "You see we needed you when we were planning all this, you have such insights. I can tell that you must of wanted to be more involved in planning all this but all you can do now is try and make this the happiest brightest day for her. Be strong for her"

 "I didn't realise that you payed for the food, I am so sorry did they get something wrong? Maybe the instructions were not clear. Oh you did not provide the cake? Maybe you should of if it was important to you."

 "Do you feel this is the right time to express your opinions about people? Maybe after the ceremony might be better. What do you think? Is it your intention to ruin your daughters day? I know you are a great mom and don't want to do that."

shadowewolf:
methinks I need some more practice on that vordan. I tried it some during the rehearsal when she kept giving me grief over placement. "where would you like to come in?" she continued to give me grief...finally thinking she might be uncomftorable because she was SOOO underdressed compared to everyone else I quite honestly asked her "Are  you just uncomftorable with processing? if so we can make sure you're comftorably seated before the ceremony." she shut up after that

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