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Author Topic: Its time I got somewhere.  (Read 9061 times)

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Belmont2500

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Its time I got somewhere.
« on: May 09, 2012, 08:24:53 AM »

I've been realizing that although I've been practicing paganism for quite some time. I really haven't gotten anywhere in it, despite how much I've learned. I guess now I figured its time I got serious.


And yes, I made that foolish decision to ask Dragonspring for an apprenticeship when I could have easily posted a thread on the board.

Well I guess I should start from the beginning. Like Diniesaur, I'm 17 and have Aspergers Syndrome. I was born into a Christian family and went along with it for most of my early years and at times, commiting some acts against Nature in the process. When I was 13, I realized the error of my ways and of Christianity in general. Not only that but I recalled two instances of my life when I had strange dreams involving the Greek Earth goddess, Gaia. I cast down any and all aspects of it and attempted to find a new religion and lifestyle I didn't find out about Paganism until I was 15.

So here I am. Asking for guidence.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2012, 08:43:33 PM by Belmont2500 »
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dragonspring

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2012, 12:01:48 PM »

What kinds of things do you do to practice?  It would be helpful to know which areas you would like guidance in.
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earthmuffin

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2012, 02:18:48 PM »

And also what you goal is. You say you haven't gotten anywhere. What is it that you want out of it?
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2012, 06:57:33 PM »

What I practice? That's a bit hard to explain. I mostly practice meditation, clairvoyance and such. As for my goal, I guess I'm just searching for answers, perhaps about my place in this world and also to restore the balance of nature that was broken ages ago.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2012, 07:33:40 PM by Belmont2500 »
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2012, 07:11:57 PM »

What I practice? That's a bit hard to explain. I mostly practice meditation, clairvoyance and such. As for my goal, I wish to not only find out who I am but also to restore the balance of nature that was broken ages ago.

As far as goal-setting goes, that's really, really noble. But my suggestion would be to re-word it to "restore the balance of nature within myself". Focus on the things you can directly affect first - yourself. Then you can think about working on the rest of nature.

As the bumper sticker says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2012, 07:33:06 PM »

That's basically what I was getting at but If anything, my goal is redemption.
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BronwynWolf

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2012, 08:08:33 PM »

Redemption for what? You're 17, and (I hope) not a mass murderer or serial rapist or something of that nature.
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2012, 07:31:56 AM »

Indeed, redemption for what? As Pagans, we do not believe in original sin, therefore, there is no need for redemption.
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2012, 07:36:02 AM »

Not. By. A. Longshot.

 Okay perhaps redemption isn't the proper term for what I was getting at. Its just very hard to explain and I have no desire to go into it, I'll leave it at that. But yes, its mostly to balance nature within myself. I'm just putting more nails in my coffin aren't I.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2012, 07:53:36 AM by Belmont2500 »
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2012, 08:23:56 AM »

Finding balance in ourself is a worthy goal for anyone.  I would point out that it is impossible to change the past - you need to learn to let the bad parts go so that the past doesn't have the power to shape your future.  Also, practicing clairvoyance is not really a spiritual practice unless you are using it to come closer to the Divine. 
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2012, 09:45:30 AM »

I was in a way. But I rarely ever try Clairvoyance anymore. I mostly attempted it while doing shamanic journeys to try and find my animal totem(it really doesn't work and I was foolish enough to try it...three times). To be honest, when it comes to Pagan practices, I'm sort of lost. I've never took part in a ritual, I don't even have an altar set up(never had the time nor the materials).
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dragonspring

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2012, 10:01:42 AM »

You don't have to have an altar to practice paganism.  When I first started on this path, I did some simple things that helped me make my practice part of my life.  Every day, I would greet the Sun and reflect on what God energies I felt and needed.  And every night, I would greet the Moon and reflect on the same for the Goddess.  This helped me to slow down and see the wonder of nature and how the Divine affects me always.  Perhaps something like this would help you feel a deeper connection to the Divine.
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2012, 06:33:35 PM »

I am currently doing daily morning and evening devotions similar to what Dragonspring describes and I have found them to be quite helpful for connecting with the Divine and balancing. When you reflect on the energies of the God and Goddess as well as the elements, it soon becomes more obvious which energies are out of of balance within you. If you want to develop your own pagan practice, there are numerous Wicca 101 type books that describe basic ritual format, though it isn't really necessary to have all the tools and go through elaborate rituals to connect with the Divine. If you lack direction, you might want to try a book like Wicca A Year and A Day, that gives you different daily exercises to try.  http://books.google.com/books?id=M-1iuOBkQ_kC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false 

Re. finding your power animal, don't feel badly that it didn't work for you. A lot of folks on forums seem to believe that animals for which they feel an affinity are the equivalent of shamanic spirit guides, when usually this is not the case, so don't be disheartened if it seems like everyone knows their spirit guides except you. Also, not everyone is cut out for shamanic practice and it's advisable to learn under the direction of a seasoned shamanic practitioner who can give you pointers and address any concerns/issues that arise. There are certain methods that must be followed to get into the appropriate trance state that aren't easily learned from books alone. I also don't think most people naturally enter a shamanic trance state easily and it does take consistent practice and dedication.

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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #13 on: May 11, 2012, 06:08:33 PM »

Wicca: A year and A Day? I've heard of it, I just never considered that book to be of use. mostly because I'm just a standard Pagan with little influence from Wicca. I guess I'll try and get my hands on the book and see what it has to offer.

As for the whole power animal scenario. Well I never felt too bad about it. Besides, who said paganism was easy and I never really supported the whole "If you have an interest in an animal then its your spirit guide" idea(personally I think its quite crude). The idea of learning under a season shamanic practitioner is a great idea but seeing as there is heavy christian influence where I live(to the point that there aren't any New Age/Occult shops and that most people won't know what Paganism is aside from the 'devil worship' views).

For Devotions. I pretty much do the same thing, mostly by praying to both the god and goddess. As an end this post,  I'll quote both prayers below:

"Blessed Gaia, mother of all, I honor you.
All-encompassing one, from chaos you arose;
you brought Ouranos into being, O Gaia,
to father your children, to make for them a home.
Mother you are to many, titans and monsters;
grandmother you are to Olympus' shining gods;
life-giver you are to all who dwell on the earth.
O Gaia, kind one, your gifts are without number--
the land on which we live, the food we eat, the air--
all the world's wonders--all of existence itself.
Revered goddess, for these things and more we thank you.
Gaia, source of all life, I praise and honor you."


"Glorious Pan I praise, dweller in the wilderness,
who roams through tangled woods, who walks the highest peaks
with step so light and sure. O Pan, goat-footed god,
splendid one, the lovely nymphs are your companions--
they follow you--they dance as you play your pipes.
Virility is your gift, and untamed passion,
O Pan; beasts and men alike receive your blessings.
Madness too can you give, sending us running
in fear and frenzy, blindly, no thought save escape.
Through you we see past civilization's sheer veil.
Through you we see revealed our nature and our strength.
O Pan, great Pan, I praise and honor you this day."
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Crystal Dragon

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2012, 07:15:02 PM »

Wicca: A year and A Day? I've heard of it, I just never considered that book to be of use. mostly because I'm just a standard Pagan with little influence from Wicca. I guess I'll try and get my hands on the book and see what it has to offer.

How can you decide if a book is useful or not if you haven't read it?  One can gain knowledge from any book, even if it is just "wow, I don't want to do that".  ;)

BTW, could you please define what a "standard Pagan" is?  That's not a term I've heard used before and since paganism covers a wide variety of practices I'm curious as to what you think a "standard Pagan" is.
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #15 on: May 11, 2012, 08:09:35 PM »

Check the link to the book I provided. You can view quite a few pages on google books.
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #16 on: May 11, 2012, 08:12:59 PM »

Those are beautiful devotions.  Do you feel the presence of the Gods when you do them?  Mostly, in a solitary environment, I prefer to talk to the Gods directly rather than reciting something that is already prepared.  I thank them sincerely for what specific blessings they have shown me at that time and ask for their guidance and protection as I move forward in my path.  As for books, I do not follow the Faerie or Reclaiming Paths, but I found The Spiral Dance to be very helpful in the beginning of my journey.  It is important to read from many different perspectives IMO to know what really works for you.
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #17 on: May 11, 2012, 08:38:36 PM »

@Crystal Dragon: Okay, I doubt anything like a standard pagan existed, but the closest you'll get are Eclectics or Reconstructionists.  I am mostly a Greek reconstructionist myself. Even though my family bloodline is mostly Welsh, I always felt a connection to Ancient Greece and its gods and goddesses.

@Earthmuffin: I'll be sure to take a look.

@Dragonspring: Thanks and I do feel their presence occasionally, mostly when praying or meditating but sometimes when I so much as sleep. I do talk to them directly as well, but it doesn't hurt to have something prepared in case you want to greet your gods with an epic speech.I may get Spiral Dance or Solitary Witch, actually I plan on getting quite a few books:

Animal Speak by Ted Andrews

A Pagan Ritual Prayer Book by Ceisiwr Serith

The Way Of The Horned God: A Young Man's Guide To Modern Paganism by Dancing Rabbit

The Complete Idiot's Guide To Paganism by Carl McColman


 
« Last Edit: May 11, 2012, 08:42:38 PM by Belmont2500 »
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2012, 09:41:05 PM »

I just had to mention this. A few minutes ago while cooking, a scorpion appeared and then ran for the hills when he/she noticed me. Now there isn't anything strange about that only that its not common to see scorpions that much where I live and even rarer to see one inside my house and so it got me thinking if the reason it was there was just mere conscidence or was it an omen? Hell, for all I know that scorpion could've been my totem animal and I just sent him/her packing  :duh:
« Last Edit: May 12, 2012, 09:47:51 PM by Belmont2500 »
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earthmuffin

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #19 on: May 13, 2012, 12:56:55 AM »

Probably not your totem. Could have been a sign though.... only you can know for sure.
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #20 on: May 13, 2012, 04:55:49 AM »

Probably not your totem. Could have been a sign though.... only you can know for sure.

 :yeahthat:
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #21 on: May 13, 2012, 08:00:16 PM »

Exactly as I thought.
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Belmont2500

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2012, 07:41:11 PM »

Recently, I've been meditating at the beach not far from home and have been studying alot of the pagan practices like Tartarus. But it still doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere or learning more about myself. I know Paganism is supposed to be taken slow, but for me its seems to be going unnaturally slow. I changed my craft name to one that fit me better(My previous one didn't fit me at all, it just sounded cool). I've still had no luck what-so-ever on getting in contact with my spirit animal and I rarely have the time or materials to do a room-cleansing ritual.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this, as the saying goes: "Its hard to fill a cup that's already full"

I don't know what I'll do next, but I swear to my gods that I won't be going back the way I came and become a Christian Fundimentalist.

Or by some miracle, I'll continue along this path despite all my difficulties, who knows.
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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2012, 12:18:19 AM »

I thought you had a dream about your spirit animal or am I thinking of someone else?

Re. room cleansing, if you have something loud to bang together like pots and pans, that will work, or you can clap your hands loudly. Salt water sprinkled around will also work.

If you want to know yourself better, draw a circle and write down all the words and adjectives that describe you inside it and everything you can think of that is not you outside of it. This exercise can be challenging and you may discover some things about yourself in the process.

Honestly, I think you put too much pressure on yourself to "make progress" whatever that means to you. I say that not as a criticism but something for you to think about that I hope might help.

Blessings, EM
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RedheadedAries

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Re: Its time I got somewhere.
« Reply #24 on: June 14, 2012, 06:23:05 AM »

I agree with EM that you are putting too much pressure on yourself.
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