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Author Topic: Love is complicated...  (Read 729 times)

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Quotensilence

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Love is complicated...
« on: June 12, 2010, 05:39:09 AM »

I know that I'm one of the youngest here. A lot of you are married, have children, and are successful. I'm still in college and and have the world at my fingertips. But I think I have a serious problem....I think my heart has completely fallen for 2 guys. I'm dating one, and somehow while I wasn't looking this other guy stole my heart from me and swept me away.
I love my boyfriend deeply, but my need and curiosity to meet people, and grow has left myself vulnerable to others. And now I'm falling for 2 guys. The other guy knows I'm in a relationship and he respects it 100%. But we both know that this thing between us is very strong. We've even been throwing around the idea of living together. I'm so confused, this has never and in a million year I never dreamed this could happen to me. And I'm so scared of hurting both of them and myself. PLEASE HELP.....
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earthmuffin

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Re: Love is complicated...
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2010, 10:49:16 AM »

I don't think your situation is uncommon, especially for your age. The best advice is can give is to be honest with your boyfriend about your feelings for your friend. He will be hurt, but he'll be hurt worse if you try to hide it. Maybe I am misunderstanding your post, but I took it to mean, you and friend were going to share housing under the pretense of a platonic relationship. That's a recipe for disaster, sweetie, to brush your feelings under the rug and pretend that you and this friend can live together without having it lead to anything. You just have to be brave and bluntly honest. It sucks to hurt people but honesty is always the best policy. 
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Ghost Wolf

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Re: Love is complicated...
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2010, 11:25:40 AM »

It will lead to something, believe me. I was young once, too. Hormones rule when you're in your twenties.
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Crystal Dragon

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Re: Love is complicated...
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2010, 12:09:45 PM »

Yep, hormones are still very crazy when you're in your 20s.  And from a biological sense, the first 2 years or so of any relationship is more pheromones and worrying about making a good impression than anything else.  You need to decide if you want to date both fellas or be exclusive with one.  Either way, you need to be honest with youself and both of these guys.
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vordan

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Re: Love is complicated...
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2010, 11:14:35 PM »

I only have this advice, the type of person that you think that you ought to fall in love with is often not the person the heart choses.
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AmberRaven

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Re: Love is complicated...
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2010, 09:49:35 AM »

Vordan is right.  sometimes the heart choses who the heart chooses. :squeezes:
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Dragonfhain

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Re: Love is complicated...
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2010, 08:48:09 AM »

This may not help at all, but if I were in your position, I'd try to sit down and figure out exactly how I felt toward both guys. Sometimes a very close friendship can be mistaken for a crush (I've had that problem a lot lately! Sometimes being young is just plain frustrating) and love comes in many different sizes. I'm not saying it's not possible to love both guys romantically, but it's possible you're confusing romantic love and brotherly love or something for one of them.

But I agree with Earthmuffin that you should definitely be honest with both of them. Otherwise things could get really bad really quickly.
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Quotensilence

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Re: Love is complicated...
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2010, 09:43:37 AM »

Haha it's been awhile since I commented on this post, but I wanted to wait and see what life would give me. To make a very long and tear filled  story short, I hae decided that I am going to be single for awhile. My ex Stuart and I are very much in love with each other, and both acknowledged the fact that this break will tell us what we need to know. Our hope is that it will either open up new doors for each of us, or it will tell us just how much we want to be together. After all this I decided that I don't think (at least for awhile) that I want any men in my life. I'm ready to do my own thing, be my own woman. I'm ready to get on my feet and conquer the world.
Stuart and I realized this quote:

If you love something let it go. If it comes back then it was always yours, if it doesn't then it never was

describes our relationship perfectly. So that's the decision we made. I have some dreams and ideas that I want to fulfill and I think now I have the strength and will to do it. This will be a good thing I think.
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You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Someday I hope you'll join us, and the world will live as one.
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