I'm so, so very confused right now...I don't know where to put this, and I'm nit sure if it belongs on this forum, but I have nowhere else to go...
You see...for the past few weeks, I have been feeling more and more distant and detached from my gods...Odin, Loki, Freya, Heimdall, Tyr, Baldr, even Thor!! No matter how much I try to pray to them, or try to ask them for some guidance, I get no reply. Not even a hint, or a sign...
Then, just as I felt a bit lost and hopeless, I felt a strange urge to seek someone out...I didn't know who that someone was, at the time, but I searched anyway. After a bit of searching, I was, admittedly, a bit disgusted to find my search had taken me to a website about various angels.
I was about to click the back button, until a certain name caught my eye...the name of an angel. The angel was Samael...
Seeing the name, something inside me urged me to seek out more info on him. From what little info I could gather of him, I discovered that he was different from other angels, with a history of being both good and evil.
This struck me as a bit odd, and being reminded of his connection to Christianity and Yahweh, I thought to stop and stoke my curiosity. However, since I discovered Samael, and read about him, I cant shake the feeling that I have some sort of connection to him...
I hate it...I know his connection with Christianity and everything I've grown to despise, yet I can't shake this feeling of a connection with him...I wish I could say that I feel nothing or care about nothing having to do with him, or the angels, but I can't...
What do I do? I feel like such a traitor...
![hairpull :hairpull:](https://www.paganjourneys.com/Smileys/funsmileys/hairpull.gif)