Pagan Journeys > In the Broom Closet

At a loss for words

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Tirya:
 ()

If she has a history of being that back-and-forth about things, maybe just ignoring it and treating it like "a phase" would be the best plan for now?

Everything that you posted still says to me that it's not about you, it's about her. It's not something you have done wrong, and it is not your job to make her happy about your choices.

rainshadow:
I'm trying to ignore it, I just really am having a hard time of coming to terms with it and don't understand why I'm really uncomfortable. I mean, a little old lady (one of my patients) said it to me last week and it didn't bother me one bit, but coming from my mother is a whole different ball game.

And to add... she's had friends who were of different faiths... one of her best friends was Cherokee that practiced Native American spirituality and another of her friends was a Wiccan. She's also had friends that were gay (I'm bisexual), and she still hung out with them... but knowing that I practice paganism and am bisexual really doesn't sit with her... maybe she had different expectations of me because I'm her daughter, but I don't believe in judging people based on their beliefs/sexuality/etc., especially when your friends with people that are in the same "group" so to speak of the people you are judging (I don't think it's fair to judge me the way that she has, yet she is accepting of her friends doing the same). Again, maybe she just had different expectations of me, but it doesn't really feel fair at all.

Nicodemus:
Hi Jenxd
Could you say "God bless in return"? A bit like when we say "happy birthday" although it isn't our birthday it is just a way to wish them well.

BronwynWolf:
Jen, for what it is worth:

I get the feeling you're uncomfortable with it coming from your mother because of all the BS you had dealt with before...you admit you are still working through it, and it has to be in your mind that she may pull the same again. It may be hard, but in the long run, if you can teach yourself to ignore it, you'll be happier for it. Is she judging you differently? Yeah, sounds like. Sometimes parents do. It's like "Things like that don't happen around here" and "Not in my back yard". Live your life the best you can, learn to let her little tics roll off, and get on with healing.

Crystal Dragon:
I agree with Bron and Tir ... if it doesn't bother you when others say "God bless you" then it's an issue with your mother only.  Remember, we all interpret things said to us based on our experiences, and it sounds like your experiences with your mother have taught you to question her motives (and rightly so from what you've posted).

If you can change your view of your mother to one of feeling compassionate toward her because of her issues, it would go a long way toward being able to ignore the motive behind her statements or actions.  :squeezes:

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