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Problems with visualization... Need Help!

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Tinevisce:

--- Quote ---Thanks Dragonspring. I understood it later in my theoretical reading sessions that it was a psychic attack. Is it true that I cannot get back what I gave away that day or what I lost afterwards? Because even though I am strengthening my shield, a part of my which was prominent earlier seems lost still.
--- End quote ---

I don't want to second-guess any of the experienced folks, so standard disclaimer, if anything I say contradicts anything one of the elders say; go with the Elders! :)

With that out of the way, I'd be inclined to think that it just wouldn't be possible for any of your natural gifts to be taken away like that- because they aren't gifts so much as affinities, and they're an organic part of you. Unpleasant experiences or psychic attacks or malevolent workings might make it harder for you to access those skills (but, really, subconscious fears caused because of an unpleasant experience are much more common) but they'll still be there once you've worked your way through the block.

It's terrifying on a very existential level when one of these experiences happen because we're usually not taught the ins and outs of the "mystical" from childhood, and real life magick doesn't come with helpful visual cues like on TV (sadly), so a large part of the fear comes from our inability to explain what's happening.

Luckily, though, as witches/pagans/shamans/however it is you wish to label yourself, we do have tools for demystifying these things. I really, really think it might help to consult divination methods once you feel ready to probe exactly what this episode was all about.
If it turns out that this was just your subconscious trying to protect you in a rather dysfunctional way (it tends to do that to all of us newbies), you can work on exactly which skills your subconscious wanted you to learn. If it turns out that it came from something external (i.e psychic attack), there are ways to protect yourself from that too.

I could merely be projecting my own experiences onto you, but I'm more inclined to go with the first possibility.

Welcome to PJ- hope you love it here!

dragonspring:

--- Quote from: Athena on October 07, 2015, 01:05:49 PM ---Thanks Dragonspring. I understood it later in my theoretical reading sessions that it was a psychic attack. Is it true that I cannot get back what I gave away that day or what I lost afterwards?

--- End quote ---
I think you absolutely can rebuild you reserves of energy through meditation, exercise, etc.  The best way for me to recharge is to spend some time in nature but everyone is different.

I don't know exactly what residual effects you are seeing from this experience but I have found that mostly people tend to create their own personal hell through fear and lack of confidence.  Being an effective witch has a lot to do with the belief in our ability to control our own state of mind and how we react to challenges.  If you have psychological trauma from the event, you should perhaps look into mundane methods of dealing with it.  Maybe some work with overcoming negative thought patterns or stress management would be a good start. 

If you feel that something is still actively draining your energy, it might be good to seek help from someone with experience working with energy such as an experienced witch, shaman, or Reiki master. 

Ther

DragonsFriend:
Athena,
I don't know what training you have had or what level of confidence you have in your potential but I can tell you without a doubt that you have lost nothing in this experience. I believe that fear and a lack of confidence is your only injury. So I guess my feelings coincide with Dragonspring on this matter. If you can't find anyone nearby after trying Witchvox and any local pagan shops please feel free to contact me. I am a Reiki master and I am trained in distance healing of all kinds. I may also consider some exercises that you are able to use at your level of expertise to rebuild your confidence and rid yourself of fear. Personal affirmation is always one alternative. If you can center and ground and then pull energy from the Earth and once that is comfortable open your crown chakra and use the infusion of Universal energy to build your confidence. You can decide if that is more advanced than you are and use that to decide whether to do it or not.

Athena:

--- Quote from: DragonsFriend on October 08, 2015, 06:41:45 PM --- If you can't find anyone nearby after trying Witchvox and any local pagan shops please feel free to contact me. I am a Reiki master and I am trained in distance healing of all kinds. I may also consider some exercises that you are able to use at your level of expertise to rebuild your confidence and rid yourself of fear. Personal affirmation is always one alternative.

--- End quote ---

Personal affirmation was probably the only thing that helped me keep going, day after day, when I could not even meditate. I was so grateful to know a quick and easy way out of trouble at that time.

I feel much better now, but thank you so much for offering a helping hand in my healing. I believe the system reset is something that I need to do on my own. It may lead to trial and error, but I guess that's how we learn. I would definitely love to know more about the exercises you want me to practice. Can you tell me about them?

Athena:

--- Quote from: Tinevisce on October 08, 2015, 02:08:07 AM ---I don't want to second-guess any of the experienced folks, so standard disclaimer, if anything I say contradicts anything one of the elders say; go with the Elders! :)

Luckily, though, as witches/pagans/shamans/however it is you wish to label yourself, we do have tools for demystifying these things. I really, really think it might help to consult divination methods once you feel ready to probe exactly what this episode was all about.


--- End quote ---

I would very much like to call myself a witch but I think it's a bit too early to take on such a big responsibility. The only divination method I am good at is Tarot reading. However, my cards are lately largely influenced by my mood. So, I think I would have to consult another reader to get an insight. And most definitely, I am loving it here. It's really hard to find anyone in my locality who is tolerant about occult. 

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