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Differing views on Death

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vordan:
I feel bad for the worms when I go fishing and am a sentimental softie about everything. Regardless of that, I don't miss those who didn't treat me well. I don't go to very many funerals and I don't shed tears for most folks. Even when my parents died I was stone faced around many people. Raise a glass perhaps to her and wish her well on her last great adventure. It is beyond rude on their part, to criticize how a man grieves.

Banrion_Lile:
People often automatically think 'What a cold :censored: '  when I say I will not mourn my mother's death (she's actually my aunt, her and my uncle adopted my brother and I when I was younger) Actually I'll feel a since of reliefs and justice. I won't say happyness as she's actually rather quite pathetic an perhaps the closest emotion I'll feel to mourning will be pitty. In all honesty she is the closest thing to an absolute negative force that I have ever known. I used to think perhaps it was just me but being a mother myself now I realize, no, it really was her. She is extremely shallow, closed minded, myopic, self loathing, and more than ready to blame everything on everyone else as she wallows in a deep stream of self pity. As a child I was nothing more than a doll to her. Something to put on display and show what a good mother she was. I'm doing very well now that I'm not living with her and I still show her respect as she did take my brother and I in but I will not mourn her passing.

I don't feel it is evil to not shed a tear for those who've not made a positive impact on our lives regardless of relation.

BronwynWolf:
Those who claim to truly mourn the passing of every relative they've had pass over... are lying. Quite possibly to themselves as much as the rest of the world.

bluefire:
We feel what we feel.  Our emotions just ARE.  No one can tell us what to feel.  Well, they CAN, but they are wasting their breath. 

Mongo, you deal with some very difficult people. 

PaganOne:
I used to say that when my father dies that I'm going to jump up and down on his grave to make sure he doesn't get out.  It is only then I will be free.

Then I came to realize that all my hate and hurt affected not only me, but my husband and my children.  My hate was a burning ember in my gut that spilled over into every aspect of my life. 

I came to realize that the only way to save myself and those I truly loved was to find a way to heal.  I have a habit of saying that the Goddess gives when the time is right.  She lead me to yoga and from there to Reiki.  After embarking on a journey of spiritual healing using Reiki, I came to see my father in a new light.  I now understand why he is the person he is.  I do not excuse him, but understanding has gone a long way in allowing and enabling me to heal. 

It puzzles my father these days that I no longer rise to the bait he sets out or seem much bothered to care when he disses my opinions and beliefs.  He has no clue as the pain I have suffered at his hand and word.  That is okay with me, as I have finally taken control of my emotions and my life.  When he dies, I rather think I will feel a bit of relief, but nothing much more.  He will be cremated with no funeral service.  At least I'll be spared putting up with pain in the butt relatives.

If anyone is interested, Brett Bevell authored an inexpensive wonderful little book called Reiki for Spiritual Healing.  It's a gem.

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