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Author Topic: Coming out to partners?  (Read 4107 times)

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Coming out to partners?
« on: August 04, 2011, 09:30:26 AM »

I've always been fortunate when it comes to coming out of the broom closet to my family, friends, boyfriend, co-workers, etc. My current boyfriend knew I was Wiccan before we started dating.

I know not everyone is as blessed as I am when coming out. I know parents can be tough sometimes when it comes to the subject, but I've always been curious about coming out to your partner (no matter their title).

Basically my questions are:

1. Did they know before you started dating or did you keep it from them?
2. If you kept it from them, have you told them?
3. How did they react when they found out?
4. Were you Pagan before meeting them or did you start your practice during your relationship?
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Re: Coming out to partners?
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2011, 09:56:19 AM »

I've been married almost 18 years and interested in paganism only for the last 4 or so. Hubby new about my interest from the beginning and was a little hesitant about it at first after initial major hesitancy but that's another long personal story that I only share with my closest friends-- now he is accepting. He's atheist/agnostic and I tend toward that as well so we don't talk spirituality all that much.

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Re: Coming out to partners?
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2011, 12:26:22 PM »

Hubby's been Pagan a few years longer than me. Coming out? We MET in a Pagan chat room, so there was no question of that.
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Re: Coming out to partners?
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2011, 03:52:17 PM »

My wife is an agnostic, I was not actively practicing when we met so it wasn't an issue. As I became more spiritual she accepted it as long as I didn't force my beliefs on her.
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Re: Coming out to partners?
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2011, 05:07:57 PM »

My hubby grew up as a Catholic, but was rather disgusted with the whole thing long before we ever met.  He never found anything or even had a desire to look after that. When I told him of my desire to explore a Pagan path, I was really nervous because of his background, but he is incredibly open minded so it really wasn't a big deal to him at all. He was very accepting and even participated in a few rituals with me early on so he could get a better understanding, but didn't find the same value in it that I did.  Now, as a couple with varying beliefs (though I'm not really sure what to call what he believes), we try to give our kids an open understanding from both of our viewpoints.

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Re: Coming out to partners?
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2011, 11:18:57 AM »

When we started 'dating', he didn't know about my spiritual tendencies (although to be fair it never came up). Later on when all the big conversations came up, he accepted it when he saw the subtle proof floating around us (the circumstances of our meeting, the timing and both our synchronizing backgrounds convinced us that coincidences don't exist).

On top of that, where he's from (and where I used to live) the predominant religion is 'christianity', but he is atheist and most of the holidays they celebrate are actually pagan holidays that have been renamed to "saint _____'s day". So really, his country is still very pagan in its roots; just most of their population isn't all that aware of it. It was one of those countries that was initially 'taken over' by the christian movement so the religious format never really out-rooted the old religion. That was also another thing we've decided not to accept as mere coincidence.


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Re: Coming out to partners?
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2011, 07:24:12 PM »

My husband had some weird experiences with a group of Pagans who are very fluffy and very sexually active and aggressive and since then he has had kind of a weird opinion on the subject (this all happened years ago). He likes to joke around by calling me "Witchy Woman" and he calls our kitty my familiar, but then again he'll also ask me to smudge the perimeter of the house or burn candles, etc. I think he is partly interested but doesn't want to put forth effort, haha. We never really discussed religion when we started dating, and I never really felt it to be necessary to bring it up in conversation, so it's just kind of been seen and inferred through the years.


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Re: Coming out to partners?
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2011, 08:33:06 PM »

Since I met GW through this and other pagan type forums, there was no necessity to "come out".  I have to say that being of like minds spiritually is really quite amazing in an intimate relationship. 

I was married to a butt-head who thought I was a debbil worshiper before though.  It was most unpleasant.  I told him because I didn't feel that keeping secrets about something so important to me was healthy in a marriage.  His attitude about my faith (among other things) showed me that the marriage was completely unhealthy.

"The word which shall come to save the world, shall be uttered by a woman." - Anna Kingsford
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