A good point Crystal Dragon, I am fully aware of how my beliefs may seem contradictory to the beliefs of others, and i know i cant really say anything that can assure anyone of my sincerity. However, I can try to explain in the way that I experience it.
this is no attempt at correcting anything I think the divine did wrong, but instead a naming of the principles and ideals that I truly believe. In regards to where I get the energy? My Beliefs personify the stars like gods, as well as entities I have encountered without ever once hearing the names before encountering them. from these I will ask for help with the energies. I will ask for help from gods, because initially I was omni-theistic I made it my goal to research and pray to gods of every faith. by no means have I memorized every name, but my intention is to serve all of them with belief. but I also search to practice a belief that we as people can create entities on the ethereal plane that can be just as potent as gods. I don't hold to ideals of inevitability, instead i look to infinite outcomes. I know that this explanation of my thoughts will displease people and contradict what they think, I am prepared for this. I'm not out to impress people or start arguments. My only goal is to further my faith and be at peace with it. as to how I expect this energy to do what I want indefinitely? I don't know. but as I understand it, you can never be sure that any spell or ritual will work, but you can set guidelines, mechanisms of sorts to help it along the way to keeping true to its purpose.
I don't honestly think that I can convince anyone of my sincerity, my inner readiness, and confidence in the success in this endeavor, but I can try to convey that this is not something I do blindly or out of some childish notion that i can do better than someone or the divine. I can hope that eventually people will see that this is something I feel like I can do right and well, and that one day it will be understood that I do this with every intention of dedicating my life to it. People can tell me that I'm ill prepared, but thats something that can never be known without attempting it first. so while my reasons, abilities, or authenticity may all be questioned, I will remain steadfast in my belief and to the best of my abilities answer the questions to try to calm doubts as they are brought to me.