Okay, I am a bit confused here. If you cannot justify your thoughts or actions, how do you figure out if they were just as they should have been?
I can give you a concrete example.
I've been trying to eat healthier for years. It's been a slow, aggravating process, but over the last five years, I've managed to cut what was a 3-soda-per-day habit down to maybe one a month, if that. I've started packing lunches, focusing on fruit and veggies. Lately I've started working on portion sizes. But my problem remains: candy. Specifically Reese's.
I'm fully convinced I'm addicted to sugar, and that the highly processed forms found in candy and commercial ice cream muck about with my gut now (discovered through trial and error in precisely this example). This past Easter, there was the after-holiday sale at the local grocers. Guess who bought several
pounds of Reese's Easter Eggs? Now, I told myself when I was buying them that I could pop them in the freezer and just eat one or two a day for an after-supper desert. That was a Shallow Justification number 1. Because based on my own knowledge of my past behavior, I knew damn well how hard it was going to be to keep to that. Sure enough, I was soon eating 4-5 pieces a day. Any moment when I would get the munchies was fair game for another sugar hit. My intestines hated me for a full month, until I had successfully worked through three bags worth of candy. I told myself I was addicted, and I would just keep up this pace until they were all gone, then not buy any more. Simple, right? Shallow Justification number 2. Every time I would finish a piece, I would wonder why I even ate them, because I couldn't honestly say if I liked the taste after the fact, and by mid-month, I was certain they were the cause of my gut problems. But it was a habit now, and I had no problem with this kind of diet in college... Shallow Justification number 3.
We can
find justifications for almost anything. The real test comes when we look to where those come from and how much weight we want to give them,
based on those principles we follow. It's not about not finding a justification, but rather which ones we use. I decided for an extended period of time to suppress some of my principles, namely self-control and long-term views on health decisions, and accept my own justifications. I've still got one bag left in the deep freeze, and I see it every time I open the chest. I've got a couple pints of ice cream too. I pass those handy-dandy, super-convenient resealable bags of little Reese's every week in the grocery store ("Hey, I'll just grab one or two, just enough to satisfy the cravings, I can handle it, right?").
Now, however, my craving has moved from a bad justification to a factor for consideration. I've learned from this mistake, but it's not exactly a lesson I wanted to learn. It's harder to keep to my principles than it would have been had I not backslid, but they're winning and I'm down to twice a week, a single candy or one scoop of ice cream, and a "no, you don't even like it, much less need it" mantra at the grocery store. I also have a strong complex about throwing away perfectly good food that constantly wars with my portion control principles (but that's slowly finding a balance, too), so I'm still going to "work through" what sweets I have, but strictly regimented.
We'll see come October if I'm strong enough to resist the siren call of Reese's Pumpkins. I certainly hope so.
![faint :faint:](https://www.paganjourneys.com/Smileys/funsmileys/faint.gif)