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Author Topic: Frustrating  (Read 1064 times)

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rainshadow

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Frustrating
« on: May 28, 2012, 02:04:56 AM »

As I've posted before, my mother isn't exactly "open" or accepting to my practicing witchcraft or following pagan beliefs. She continually tells me to put down my tarot cards and pick up a bible, yada yada yada (I hear it constantly). This is also the woman that gave me a very nice potted aloe plant and told me that she would let me have the pot that it was in because it was "earthy" (something small, but a little contradiction to the rest of what she does) and she knew that I "was into that sort of thing."  :rolleye:

Well today was a new one... she was telling me about how they were in foreclosure for their house and looking at new homes, etc. At the end of her telling me about the new house they looked at and telling me how good God has been to them throughout all of this, she goes, "Say some prayers for us. Not those crazy Wiccan prayers, but good prayers."

I was speechless at first... I sighed... then I just told her that everything I do spiritually isn't to harm anyone, and that my beliefs or practices weren't "crazy" and that people all over the world from different religions pray differently... she didn't say much to me after that, just told me I needed to start believing in the Christian God again.

In a later conversation when we were talking about my husband's gay brother, she goes, "Your in-laws should be accepting, even though they are strict Christians, they accepted you into their home knowing you had tattoos and practiced witchcraft and are different than what they expected for their son." Sooo... my brother in law should be accepted for being gay, but I can't be accepted for being a witch/tattooed/different? Makes no sense to me mom...

I've been "out" of the broom closet with her for about a year now, and it's been hard. Even my in-laws have accepted me, and they don't try at all to push their religious beliefs on me. The only thing they ever said was one year, they sent us some stuff for Easter and asked if it was acceptable to do so since they knew we didn't believe in it. Then my father in law attempted to tell my husband that he needed to find God again... but those were the only two incidents where they ever said anything, and nothing has ever been directed at me. They don't try to change me, don't try to tell me what to believe, none of that. But my mother is a different story and it's driving me crazy!

Every time she brings it up, I just tell her I don't want to talk about it and try to get off the phone (we live 1000 miles apart, I've seen her once in the last three years) as politely as possible. She knows it makes me uncomfortable and she still insists on saying the things she says. I'm just getting really frustrated. She grew up in the 60's, was a hippie, had friends that were pagan, but when it comes to her daughter, it's a whole different story.

The thing is, she isn't saying enough or offending me enough for me to cut communication, that's not how I am, and I'm pretty used to being judged regardless... I just have nothing left to say to her on the issue, she refuses to be open minded and learn about my beliefs, and when I politely tell her this, I get criticized and told I'm going to go to hell if I don't change.

I want to pull my hair out  :gaah:
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Crystal Dragon

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Re: Frustrating
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2012, 05:13:26 AM »

Try to look at it from your mother's perspective.  She's been told, by people she trusts  (pastor, minister, priest, whatever) that anyone who isn't Christian will go to hell.  This is a pretty scary prospect for a devout follower ... to think that their child is lost to them forever on a spiritual level and may be harmed by it.  Her comments are likely the only way she has to express her concern without starting an argument.

Yes, passive-aggressive crap like this is tough to deal with, but it's her way of trying to protect you.
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dragonspring

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Re: Frustrating
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2012, 07:52:27 AM »

I agree with CD.  My sister, who has always been accepting of my faith, recently became involved in a fundamentalist church.  I didn't realize how much that would change things until we got into a very bad argument and didn't speak for a while.  Since then, when the subject of religion comes up, I firmly say something along the lines of "I am glad that your faith makes you happy but we do not agree on this subject. Let's talk about something else."  Most of the time that works.
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