Pagan Journeys > In the Broom Closet

When You Live with Your Parents

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How to learn, grow, practice your path when you live with your parents and they are not accepting of paganism is a topic that comes up regularly in pagan message boards.  I thought I'd share some of my ideas around that, in the hopes that these thoughts may help some folks.

You can study paganism without shouting it from the rooftops.  This is different from lying.  It is about exploring your own spiritual beliefs from the inside before taking it to the outside.  How do you experience the Divine?  Every person on this earth asks themself this question.  You can explore that question yourself without villifying the religion your parents raised you in.  What is calling you to the new path?  Is it wanting to dress a certain way you perceive to be "witchy"?  Is it wanting to perform spells to solve all your problems?  Is it identifying with a character on TV, in the movies, in a video game or a book?  Those solutions are about shouting it from the rooftops, not about exploring a spiritual path.  Be real with yourself and being real with the rest of the world will come easier.  The link to Religious Tolerance Org is posted here in Pagan Journeys.  That is a good place to start.  Learn about various beliefs and put in some serious thought about what seems real to you.  The Wiccan Rede is posted here in Pagan Journeys.  Read it.  Many times.  It is a great starting place for not just Wiccans, but many pagan paths.  Meditate.  Allow the Divine to speak to you in whatever silence you can find in your own mind.

Labels are odious.  Early in your path, you do not need a label.  You may never need a label.  Declaring "I am Wiccan," or "I am pagan" can #1 limit your own study and #2 put you in a box that is an easy target for those who do not understand.  It also challenges you to study, learn and live something that is real and not just act out of what you perceive it to be.  Fill in the inside -- your beliefs and how they manifest in the way you live your life -- before you coat the outside with a label.  That way, if you choose a label, it will be the right one that fits you, not the wrong one you are trying to fit into.

You do not need fancy tools to perform rituals or spells.  The "stuff" of ritual is very fun.  The symbols on altar cloths speak to us.  The wands and athames can be beautiful.  There is no doubt to that.  And there is time for that.  But common household items can be used ritually.  In fact, rituals can be performed totally in our minds and no tools are really required.

Let your life speak for itself.  If becoming pagan is a matter of dressing in black, decorating your room in pentacle art, and speaking rudely of the faith you were raised in, you will get resistance AND miss the point of following the path.  If you find a greater connection to the Divine, grow in appreciation for the Wheel of Life, and find satisfaction and some sense to where you fit in the world, the stage is set for meaningful conversation with others about what you believe.

Bottom line.  If you live with your parents, respect them.  Your new path may be very scary to them.  Make it easier to open up meaningful diaglogue by knowing what you believe and why.  They may never accept it.  But maybe they will.  You give them a fighting chance by being real inside yourself.

Edited to fix typo.

Beautiful post, Blue!  Thank you.

I think you can take any of what you've said here and apply it to anyone on a Pagan path, no matter where they are on that path, how old they are or if they live alone or with other family members.  Wonderful, wonderful advice.

Crystal Dragon:
Yes, a most awesome post.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts sis. :warmfuzz:

That's great advice BF!   :loveheart:



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