Pagan Journeys > Beginner's Chat
Letting Go
rainshadow:
When you became a pagan (assuming you didn't grow up one for the purpose of this post)... how hard was it to let go of the religion you practiced prior to becoming a pagan? Do you still find yourself believing in traces of your former religion?
I grew up Catholic. Hated it, but my mom insisted on dragging us to mass to listen to services that were in Latin and I had no clue what was going on. In my pre-teen years, I turned to Christianity. Found some strength and some comfort, but it wasn't exactly what I knew in my heart I believed in, it just didn't feel "right" to me after a while because I always felt like I was doing something to displease God and was constantly "sinning." I asked myself why I would want to believe in a God that I'm terrified of.
I eventually dated a guy in high school who was Wiccan... which is what essentially got me interested in pagan religions. So roughly, I've been studied/practicing for close to ten years now give or take.
Even though I've been practicing and studying for so long, I still have days where I want to fall back on what's comfortable (just giving everything to God instead of trying to fix it myself type of thing), I still wonder if at the end of this life, maybe I was wrong and maybe I'll end up in Hell (even though I don't believe in it) or the equivalent of it.
I want to put my old path behind me, but I'm having a hard time doing it. Most days, I do perfectly fine, but then I meet people who are very strictly religious (like a few co-workers) and it opens a flood gate of all the old memories I had when I was a Christian. A woman at work found out the other day that I was a pagan (not by my choosing) and completely criticized me and told me I was going to Hell (it was seriously like a 10 minute lecture about me being pagan scum!). My mom tells me all the time to pick up a bible and put down my tarot cards. It's just really frustrating.
So how did you let go, or do you still find yourself practicing parts of what you used to believe in?
Tirya:
First off, you shouldn't have to deal with that kind of abuse from a co-worker, and if she does it again, tell her you will report it to her manager. Whether she likes it or not, your religious beliefs (and hers!) are protected...
rainshadow:
When she finished ripping me a new one, that's exactly what I told her, that religious discrimination would be reported if it happened again. I told her it was none of her business as to what religion I believed in, and calmly explained to her that just because her beliefs aren't mine, that she didn't need to go off on me the way she did. I don't think it will happen again (we rarely see each other as is)... it was just the principle of the matter. There are a lot of close minded people out there, I try to let it go and not be judgmental.
Tirya:
For me, I was raised Christian (Presbyterian), but when my dad died, I stopped believing in the "Jesus loves you" thing. The Born-Again Christian friend who told me my dad must have done something awful to be taken so young and was burning in Hell now pretty much took care of any warm and fuzzy comfort feelings I had from the Christian concept of God. I was atheist for a while, then agnostic, then started exploring my Norwegian heritage and read the Norse myths. That basically led me to a pagan point of view, even though I don't view any mythology (including the Bible) as "literal truth". As far as falling back on "let go and let God", there are times that I do that, asking my Gods for help or guidance, and trusting that if something doesn't happen "the way I want it to" that it's not because I failed. I'm not sure if I believe that the Divine has a "grand plan", though.
rainshadow:
Thank you for the response. I too, wonder about the grand plan and whether or not there is one. That would be a whole separate post though. :lol
Did you slowly find your Christian faith dwindling in the background as you started on your pagan path? Like I said, for me, most days I do really good, but there are just days where I have questions. I lost my spiritual mentor and still have a tough time getting answers.
--- Quote from: Tirya on May 01, 2012, 12:00:18 PM ---For me, I was raised Christian (Presbyterian), but when my dad died, I stopped believing in the "Jesus loves you" thing. The Born-Again Christian friend who told me my dad must have done something awful to be taken so young and was burning in Hell now pretty much took care of any warm and fuzzy comfort feelings I had from the Christian concept of God. I was atheist for a while, then agnostic, then started exploring my Norwegian heritage and read the Norse myths. That basically led me to a pagan point of view, even though I don't view any mythology (including the Bible) as "literal truth". As far as falling back on "let go and let God", there are times that I do that, asking my Gods for help or guidance, and trusting that if something doesn't happen "the way I want it to" that it's not because I failed. I'm not sure if I believe that the Divine has a "grand plan", though.
--- End quote ---
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