Pagan Journeys > Beginner's Chat

Begin again


Hello lovelies!

I have been MIA for quite a long and I had a long list of reasons when I sat down to write. But they all seem lie excuses now.

I moved to a new city away from the man I love (and cannot be with, because, well, he loves someone else) and my family a couple of months ago. I have had alcohol addiction issues, which resulted into health issues. Then there were office issues, and more emotional unfolding with my man.

Having such an unstable state of mind and irregular schedule, I haven't been able to practice.

Two days earlier, during my evening walk, I felt withdrawn suddenly even though I had company and when I closed my eyes... I felt like 'the power' (as I call my guardian spirit - she seems to be a gentle old woman with a deep voice) was calling me. The hushed message was I shouldn't avoid it anymore. I believe that she called me to begin practicing again, as it has been on my mind for quite some time now.

So, I have decided. I start today. But it would be like beginning from scratch. And I don't feel confident enough. If you were at my place, how'd you begin everything again?

I think it is fairly normal to have periods where we get drawn away from practicing by life issues.  I am not sure why you feel that you have to start over - knowledge does not disappear from disuse.  I would say to start simply and do what feels comfortable for you.

DS makes a good point :) The knowledge doesn't go away; so it's not as though not practising would have stripped you back to complete square one.

Sure, actions and words that flowed easily because of practice will be a lot less fluid and more halting- and I mean that in the specific context of ritual, of course- but they'll still be there. If it were me, I'd start with the basic format of my daily devotional/circle casting and go from there.

Good luck!

So, I started again. Guess, as DS and T pointed out, knowledge doesn't wash out. It was easy settling down into old habits.  :cheer:
Looking forward to more changes in my life now, which knock at the door currently.


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