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Author Topic: My daughter is having a hard time at school  (Read 188 times)

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Jermie

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My daughter is having a hard time at school
« on: December 13, 2011, 09:35:32 PM »

My daughter who is 9 is having trouble with other kids at school due to our chose religion. Several days she has came home in tears because a group of girls at school are trying to force her to get saved and become christian. It all started when they asked her what church she goes to and she politely told them that she is not a christian but she still wanted to be their friend, now they wont leave her alone. I am going to talk to the principal about it and hopefuly they will take care of the bullying. That still leaves me trying to help her understand that there is a lot of people who dont understand our ways and will sometimes be mean because of it, This idea is so hard for her because she wants to love everyone no matter who or what they are and cant understand why they cant be the same way. Im stuck between wanting to toughen her up some because it is a hard world out there and these types of things will continue as she gets older, and I also just want to hold her and make it all better.<---(which I do any way lol) Anyone else with kids ever had to deal with this or dealt with it as a kid. I try to tell her not to talk about our religion too much but she says that she loves who she is and shouldnt be ashamed of it. How do you argue with such logic from a 9 year old lol. Any way just wanted to get that off my chest Its realy bothering me.
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Tirya

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2011, 09:48:54 PM »

I'd definitely talk to the principal, because unless it's a religious school, they shouldn't be bugging her about it anyway. If they won't leave her alone about it, you'll have to explain to her that some people have been taught to be very narrow-minded in their beliefs, and that she shouldn't try to be friends with them. If they can't accept her for who she is, then they aren't her friends anyway. Friends don't try to pressure you or make you feel ashamed of who you are.
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Tirya

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2011, 09:51:43 PM »

I'd also explain to her that school isn't the right place to be talking about religion in general, for them OR for her. Not because of shame, but because it's not appropriate. There are appropriate times and places to talk about religion, and school isn't it.
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Jermie

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2011, 10:25:55 PM »

I am going to the school to hopefuly get some suport on getting them to stop. I did talk to her about the right place and time to talk about religion and school not being the place for it she understands it pretty well. These girls was trying to force something on her that she does not want, they aproched her and wouldnt back off. The poor thing said she still loves them any way, That its not their fault that their parents teach them to be that way. Man she is so wise beyond her years.
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vordan

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2011, 10:52:42 PM »

It hurts when they pick on your kid my mildly autistic son was picked on without much mercy at that age. The times I wished I could inhabit his body and kick some little idiot behinds. One bit of advice for her when asked again by different people in the future is to just say she is very spiritual and goes to a very small non denominational church called the Church of the Divinity that they have never heard of and change the subject.
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diniesaur

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2011, 11:20:56 PM »

Hopefully the administration will understand. Sometimes, they don't, though. Even teachers can sometimes get away with ridiculing students. This reminds me of when I was mildly ridiculed by my eighth grade reading teacher (who taught that whole "Jesus rose from the dead" stuff as though it were fact) ridiculed my belief that all life, human and non-human, animal and non-animal, is equal...

I'm going to stop myself right there before I go onto another rant.
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Ghost Wolf

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2011, 01:11:24 AM »

Wise choice.
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Wolfsrain

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2011, 03:30:16 AM »

Hope everything works out for her. :)

It's a good thing she's so forgiving of their behavior (of course so long as her kind nature doesn't allow her to be walked all over on).

It's nice to see anyone, regardless of age, sidestepping the option of harshly judging in return.

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2011, 08:18:21 AM »

Bullying of any kind is unacceptable in school, so you should absolutely pursue this issue with them.  As for how to help your daughter, that is a tough one.  Kids respond to things in ways that we parents will never fully understand.  More often than not, we feel more strongly about certain things than they do and so we assume a level of hurt or damage for them that may not actually exist (not saying this is the case here, but just something to think about). 

I have a serious problem with how kids treat each other and have really tried to impress on my kids what a good friend and a bad friend look like.  The kids that only pay attention to you because they want something that you have (be it other friends, getting closer to other family members or a cool toy they want to play with), kids that appear to be your friend but are constantly trying to get you to be someone different than you really are, or kids that try to get you to do things that you know are wrong are all what I'd call a bad friend.  I've tried to teach my kids that they deserve more than that from the people they give their friendship and loyalty to.  As with most things we try to teach our kids, it doesn't always sink in, but every once in a while my kids get it.

It isn't easy being a parent and times like these make your heart break in a million pieces for your child.  Do your best to help her understand that this isn't a reflection on her, but on the bullies and the kind of people they have chosen to be.
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BronwynWolf

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2011, 08:25:00 AM »

At that age, I am really surprised they are on her case over religion.  But bullying IS bullying, even when the children doing it might not realize they are being bullies.

The Kidling's comment when asked about religion is that there are so many different religious factions in the family that she is learning about all of them, and will make up her mind when she is older. (It works. My family is mostly RC, Nick's is mostly CoE, but I have Baptist and he has Jewish as well...)
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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2011, 08:27:57 AM »

Bron, I'm not the least bit surprised at the age.  My kids have had comments from the time they were in Kindergarten from other kids about the fact that they don't go to church.  Even when I was in grade school, I remember being teased by a few kids when they found out I didn't go to church.  I think that was in 2nd or 3rd grade when that happened.  Bullying has no age restrictions.
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diniesaur

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2011, 09:39:56 AM »

That's a good idea. I hope this bullying can stop.
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Jermie

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2011, 10:43:46 AM »

Well since posting this and reading your replys I did some meditating on the matter. I have come to the conclusion that we can take this situation and turn it in to a positive one. I truly believe that everything that happens in life is a learning lesson That we are tasked to face and overcome. So we are gona talk with her about positive ways to deal with it and use it to learn about people and the way the world is and as Wolfsrain noted teach her that just because we are kind in nature that we dont have to be walked on either. I have always tried to teach my childeren to be accepting of all people and not harber bad feelings  because they can consume you and lead to an unhappy life. Thank you all for the input. On another note i am still going to notify the school to be on the lookout for this type of behavior and bullying of any kind shouldnt be tolorated.
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FairyQueen

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Re: My daughter is having a hard time at school
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2011, 11:21:39 AM »

I wish you the best of luck Jermie! My daughter is only 2, and I'm not looking forward to these days.
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