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Author Topic: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?  (Read 441 times)

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vordan

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How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« on: July 26, 2012, 09:01:51 PM »

Those of you who have a spouse or life partner, how did you end up with them? I am asking not just how you met but why them. What was it about them that brought you together?
« Last Edit: July 26, 2012, 09:04:30 PM by vordan »
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dragonspring

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2012, 09:32:54 PM »

I became acquainted with mine through Wicca Forums, where many of the old timers here were members.  We became friends through interaction here and another forum - but we were both married at the time.  We both became free at about the same time and a few months later, he came here to meet me.  We thought it would be cool to meet someone we had known online for a long time and we only lived 3 hours apart. 

I don't think either of us really expected anything but friendship but it became obvious early on that we were meant to be together. We learned that our spirits have been together through at least several lifetimes, probably many. It is beyond wonderful that we can share our spiritual practice and talk for hours about items of interest to both of us.  We learn from each other - he is more intellectual and I am more hands on.   I think we have complimentary personalities and strengths and our partnership has brought more balance to both of us as individuals.  Besides, his energy just feels so darn good!   :loveheart:
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2012, 10:18:46 PM »

 :D  :loveheart:
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rainshadow

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2012, 10:42:05 PM »

MySpace.  :whistle:

I was living in Ohio, working as a CO, he was stationed in Missouri with the military. I looked on one of our favorite bands' MySpace page, saw him, noticed he was also from Ohio (he actually grew up 2 hours away from where I grew up), I made a comment, he bantered back and we just started talking after that. I have a "thing" for guys in uniform (guess that's the cop in me, lol) and he had good taste in music (which is a form of therapy for me), so I gave it a shot and messaged him. A month later I flew out to meet him, 5 months later we were married. Here we sit 5 years later, made it through two deployments, facing our third, two moves courtesy of the military, and happy as clams :)

The coolest thing about our story is that when we got married (the day of actually), we went and applied for on post housing... we got a house... and when we were going through all of his stuff (he was moving in before me), we had known we both went to the same concerts and stuff back in Ohio, just never ran into each other. Well, there was a concert we went to and both had pictures from... as I was looking at his pictures, you could see my hand like 10 feet away from him... the date of our wedding? August 14th, 2007 (we tried getting it on the 13th because that was my grandma's birthday, but the court house schedule didn't work out)... we didn't know it until we looked at those pictures, but the date of the concert was August 14th, 2004. It was kind of cool :) Don't know if there's any meaning to the numbers or not, but it's neat. My mom absolutely HATED him when she met him... and for about two years, she wouldn't tell me why... so I finally asked one day while she was a little under the influence, and she said she didn't like him because she knew that he was going to be the guy that married her baby. She said she'd never had a feeling about any other guy I brought home until she met him and when she did, she knew and it made her sad because she didn't want to lose me. My parents adore him though, which is a good thing. Lol. I think he's the first guy I took home that they didn't threaten (my dad always said I have 6 acres of land, a gun and a shovel, so don't you dare hurt my daughter).

Why him? Well, the first things I noticed (physically) were his eyes and height. He has amazing blue eyes and is really tall (6'4"), I'm short (5'3") and never really had a thing for short guys. But as far as his personality and things went... he made me laugh, even when I didn't want to and was having the most horrible day ever, he always put a smile on my face. He still does to this day. He knows when I'm having a rough day, and he's always there for me, even when we were separated by thousands of miles and he was deployed to the crappiest parts of where he was, he took the time out of his day to do something nice for me, whether it was a kind word, making me laugh, or sending me flowers, etc. He's a great listener and has never once complained about my emotional girl moments (I think that's a lot for a man to handle in 5 years, lol). He's smart, I loved the fact that I had found someone who was on the same intellectual level as me, and honestly, I would go further and say that he's a lot smarter than I am... we are both equally smart in our own ways, but in terms of education, etc., he has significantly more than I do, and that really attracted me to him. There's never a dull moment when he's around... he's always laughing or joking or smiling. He's amazing with children, which is something I thought hard about before I married him (we don't have kids yet, but I always said when I got married, the guy HAD to be good with kids). He's supportive of all of my endeavors, from being a cop, working in the jail, working in the hospital, going to school... he has never told me, "No, you can't do this" and is always thinking of ways to help me reach my goals. He's okay with my spiritual beliefs, doesn't try to intrude or anything else even though we have different beliefs (he's like a borderline atheist, lol) and he even celebrates holidays with me and is okay with raising our children in a pagan home when we have them.

We balance each other out fairly well... he compliments my dark side with his light side and vise versa. We always try to practice at least one act of gratitude a day for one another, even something as simple as me making him a cup of coffee in the morning or him packing my lunch before work. We have a really great combined strength.

I still love him now just as much as I did five years ago... probably even more because we've been through so many ups and downs in our relationship and have had to go through a ton. We've come out stronger each and every time. :)

Sorry to thread jack and go off on a tangent, our anniversary is in a few weeks and this just made me think of everything :) Now I feel all mushy, I'm gonna go give him a hug.  :D

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vordan

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2012, 10:48:35 PM »

I never had much luck in love, it seemed everytime I fell in love it didn't work out. I could fall in love pretty easy, sometimes just a smile would hook me hard. I think a heart can break only so many times before it starts to lose the ability to love. I gave my heart completely away three times, and loved a little two others. There wasn't much left to give at that point, like that old song I was never going to fall in love again. I ended up thinking love was not for me, that I obviously was not worthy of being loved. After all I was a little weird, I was told constantly of my bizarreness growing up by my family. One day I was riding the bus home from my simple job that I had found upon returning to my hometown after some travels and sat next to this nice young woman. I tried to talk to her on that ride and on several more bus rides but she wasn't having anything to do do with me. This went on for some time, her thinking I was very odd and my trying to talk to her. Finally I got a car and quit riding the bus. One day she came into my work looking for me to make sure I was alright so I asked her out, she was 23 years old. While she was not a sensitive or even very spiritual, not at all who I had pictured myself falling for, I did found in her a kindred soul for she was as damaged as I was by life. Having nothing in common except both being outcasts doesn't seem like the basis of a lifetime together but at some gut level we understood each other. Somehow together with this woman we made our own island of misfit toys so to speak, our nation of two. She needed me and I needed her somehow we have made it work for many years, I am now 55 and she is 56, I never left my hometown again. I had asked God once in my earlier heartbreak for a sign once to show me who I should be with and I had forgotten it. Many years later with my wife I remembered that prayer and realized it had been fufilled, so there I am stuck once again with the concept of the weaving of fate.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2012, 12:46:33 PM by vordan »
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rainshadow

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2012, 10:50:57 PM »

Awww!!!  :loveheart: That is so sweet :) I like hearing love stories!
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2012, 11:37:33 PM »

My hubby and I met through an online dating site.  I had a two year old and some pretty strong ideas of what I did and didn't want out of my future thanks to my ex.  After talking to family members about what I felt were some of the things that were important to me and hearing, over and over, that my standards were too high and that I'd never find someone like that, I'd kind of started to believe them, but refused to settle for anything less.  I really had kind of gotten to the point where I felt like I'd much rather, and most likely would, be alone than settle for less than what I felt like I needed in a relationship.  In that frustration, I wrote out a list of all of those things.  One of the things on that list was that the person be as much into the amazing things that happen during pregnancy as I was while pregnant with my first (really kind of a long story there) and that kind of summed the list up as a whole by saying that I was looking for a "belly man".

We had a few short chats online that proceeded to phone calls that lasted hours and hours.  I fell in love with his personality before we ever met in person.  When we did finally met in person, we spent almost all of our time together when we weren't at work.  When we weren't together, we were either on the phone or emailing.  I had a minor freak out after a few months because things were going too amazing and too FAST and that scared the crap out of me, so I decided to step back.  The very next day my first thought when I got home was that I wanted to call him.  That was when I remembered my list and I realized that he had every single last quality that I was looking for.  Our first online chat was in May and we were married in March the following year.  We have now been together for 12 years and I couldn't be happier.
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BronwynWolf

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2012, 07:46:06 AM »

An old AOL Chat room, in February of 1997 He was one of the few people who knew "Bronwyn" was a Welsh GIRL'S name. Since it was a Pagan chat, we knew we had some things in common to start with. He was in the UK, I was in NY. We flirted online a lot...I was interested in one of the guys I worked with at the time, and he and I and a group of friends were going to a renn faire and the man I am now married to told me "Go have fun, flirt if you want, but remember to come back to me." Like Fox and DS, I had issues from a former relationship, but they didn't scare him. He started calling me, and we'd be on the phone for hours. In October, he flew to Ohio to take care of some business, and I took a train to be with him. We came back to NY to spend Thanksgiving with my family, got married the day after. It hasn't always been easy...I still have issues, and he had some of his own, but we're still together.
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2012, 08:50:05 AM »

I became acquainted with mine through Wicca Forums, where many of the old timers here were members.  We became friends through interaction here and another forum - but we were both married at the time.  We both became free at about the same time and a few months later, he came here to meet me.  We thought it would be cool to meet someone we had known online for a long time and we only lived 3 hours apart. 

I don't think either of us really expected anything but friendship but it became obvious early on that we were meant to be together. We learned that our spirits have been together through at least several lifetimes, probably many. It is beyond wonderful that we can share our spiritual practice and talk for hours about items of interest to both of us.  We learn from each other - he is more intellectual and I am more hands on.   I think we have complimentary personalities and strengths and our partnership has brought more balance to both of us as individuals.  Besides, his energy just feels so darn good!   :loveheart:

That is wonderful. That is amazing that you guys were together in different lives too. I hope I can meet my past life and life time partner too, apparently the 2 I was married to before were not, thanks for sharing.   :loveheart:
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dragonspring

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2012, 09:14:42 AM »

I hope you can too.  I wish that everyone could be as happy as I am now. When we met, I was almost 50, with a lifetime of horrible relationships behind me. I had pretty much given up on love and finding my soulmate and had thrown myself into being happy alone.  Finding him now has truly been a blessing beyond any imagining.
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2012, 12:10:44 PM »

I absolutely LOVE love stories!

I met my dear husband on a free dating site called Plenty of Fish in October of 2005. I shouldn't have been looking then, as my ex-fiancee had just called off everything, but I was lonely and wasn't really looking for much. I was what a lot of Soldiers called a "camo digger" because I preferred a man in uniform (what can you expect? I come from a long line of military men). We talked on AOL Instant Messenger for awhile, and then he disappeared (he got a girlfriend). I went out on a few dates with other guys, too. Met a lot of creeps.

Early 2006 he showed back up again and started messaging me with a fervor. He was still with that one broad and he was becoming conflicted. At one point he said "I like her, but I really like you, too." I told him I didn't want to be anyone's second pick and left it at that. We kept chatting. And chatting. I didn't expect anything, didn't want anything. I think he really did. In May 2006 his woman left him because he was going away to S. Korea for training for a few weeks. When he came back we kept chatting. It wasn't until July 2006 that he and I met in person and really the only reason I met him in person is because he wouldn't stop bothering me about it. "When can we hang out?" "Are you free this weekend?" "I really want to meet you". I ran out of excuses.

He came to my house, we went to a park in the area. He was goofy, awkward, and hilarious. But so smooth at the same time. How is that I wonder? We were sitting on a rock on the beach (after being assaulted by spitting clams) when he tilted my face up to his with a gentle guiding touch of my chin and kissed me. Holy moly! It was like a romance novel. So smooth. Literal sparks. Absolutely unexpected.

We were inseparable after that. Well, as inseparable as Uncle Sam would allow. We married February 2007.

Why did I choose him? Well, as you can see from the story, I didn't. He chose me. He was persistent. He proved he wanted me and I guess that is what I needed. After be so utterly rejected, I needed proof that I could be wanted.

Our relationship is FAR from easy. Hell, I spent our first year of marriage (plus a few months) alone when he deployed to Iraq. But he loves me. Really really loves me. Even 5.5 years later. :D
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rainshadow

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2012, 04:27:02 PM »

I absolutely LOVE love stories!

I met my dear husband on a free dating site called Plenty of Fish in October of 2005. I shouldn't have been looking then, as my ex-fiancee had just called off everything, but I was lonely and wasn't really looking for much. I was what a lot of Soldiers called a "camo digger" because I preferred a man in uniform (what can you expect? I come from a long line of military men). We talked on AOL Instant Messenger for awhile, and then he disappeared (he got a girlfriend). I went out on a few dates with other guys, too. Met a lot of creeps.

Early 2006 he showed back up again and started messaging me with a fervor. He was still with that one broad and he was becoming conflicted. At one point he said "I like her, but I really like you, too." I told him I didn't want to be anyone's second pick and left it at that. We kept chatting. And chatting. I didn't expect anything, didn't want anything. I think he really did. In May 2006 his woman left him because he was going away to S. Korea for training for a few weeks. When he came back we kept chatting. It wasn't until July 2006 that he and I met in person and really the only reason I met him in person is because he wouldn't stop bothering me about it. "When can we hang out?" "Are you free this weekend?" "I really want to meet you". I ran out of excuses.

He came to my house, we went to a park in the area. He was goofy, awkward, and hilarious. But so smooth at the same time. How is that I wonder? We were sitting on a rock on the beach (after being assaulted by spitting clams) when he tilted my face up to his with a gentle guiding touch of my chin and kissed me. Holy moly! It was like a romance novel. So smooth. Literal sparks. Absolutely unexpected.

We were inseparable after that. Well, as inseparable as Uncle Sam would allow. We married February 2007.

Why did I choose him? Well, as you can see from the story, I didn't. He chose me. He was persistent. He proved he wanted me and I guess that is what I needed. After be so utterly rejected, I needed proof that I could be wanted.

Our relationship is FAR from easy. Hell, I spent our first year of marriage (plus a few months) alone when he deployed to Iraq. But he loves me. Really really loves me. Even 5.5 years later. :D

I didn't know there was another military wife here, that's awesome!  :groovin: Deployments definitely suck. But I think they make you stronger too. We are facing our third.
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vordan

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2012, 05:56:26 PM »

There is  something some of these stories have in common, things often happen when you don't expect them, in ways you don't expect them, or when you are about to give up. In the case of love also you sometimes see the divine energies peeking out from behind the veil with coincidences that defy explanation.
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2012, 06:12:37 PM »

No such thing as coincidence.  :D
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2012, 06:25:43 PM »

I didn't know there was another military wife here, that's awesome!  :groovin: Deployments definitely suck. But I think they make you stronger too. We are facing our third.

My hubs got out of Active Duty in 2010, but is currently in the Reserves. There is a strong rumor going 'round they might deploy next year. Not looking forward to it at all! I agree with you that they suck, but I don't think he and I would be nearly as good a couple if it weren't for the "tests" the Army puts us through. <3
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #15 on: July 27, 2012, 07:15:23 PM »


I, too, met my beloved online- but not on the internet. This was 1995, on a a local Bulletin Board Service. We kept running across each other in various forums- cooking, scifi, etc. My recipe for roast duck finally got us talking voice, and things progressed from there.

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smd6290

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #16 on: July 27, 2012, 11:18:17 PM »

No such thing as coincidence.  :D

I totally agree.
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smd6290

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #17 on: July 27, 2012, 11:19:38 PM »

These are awesome stories. Thanks for sharing them. Gives me hope, for sure.
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #18 on: July 28, 2012, 12:57:14 AM »

I didn't know there was another military wife here, that's awesome!  :groovin: Deployments definitely suck. But I think they make you stronger too. We are facing our third.

My hubs got out of Active Duty in 2010, but is currently in the Reserves. There is a strong rumor going 'round they might deploy next year. Not looking forward to it at all! I agree with you that they suck, but I don't think he and I would be nearly as good a couple if it weren't for the "tests" the Army puts us through. <3

We are getting out of AD either in 6 months or a year and a half... depending on what happens (his ETS falls within a certain date of the next scheduled deployment and they said he could either reenlist or get out early, and he doesn't want to reenlist). I agree, the Army definitely tests you. I never knew how much strength I (or we) really had until we went through this. He wants to do contracting when he gets out, so I know we'll be facing more separations.

Hopefully, the rumor is just a rumor for you guys and it doesn't happen (although the extra money is nice)... I always feel like a part of me is missing when he's gone  :squeezes:
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #19 on: July 28, 2012, 01:06:27 AM »

These are awesome stories. Thanks for sharing them. Gives me hope, for sure.

Always have hope for the best, even when it's hard! Before I met my husband, I had just gotten out of a really crappy relationship and the guy I was with when I met him wasn't that good to me either, I was to the point of swearing off men and going back to dating women. I think everyone we meet, whether romantic or not, or however significant their role is in our lives (simply a coworker, a passerby or a dear friend etc.), that we have a connection to in some way, shape, or form.

The ex I was with before my husband, I had lived with, he had three kids, etc... I always hoped and hoped that he would be "it" for me, despite the problems in our relationship... my best friend kept telling me that there was better out there, that I had a whole life ahead of me I never knew could be possible... and she was right. I look at my ex now and look at the life he has, and I realize had that been me instead of the woman he left me for, I would be absolutely miserable and nowhere near as happy as I am right now. So sometimes the things we hope for don't happen, and that's a good thing.

I should probably take my own advice on that one though (it's much easier to be positive for others when you're your own worst critic)... I never really hope for anything and expect the worst, that way if something good does actually happen, I'd be pleasantly surprised. Need to change my line of thinking there.
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #20 on: July 28, 2012, 02:49:53 AM »

I was 15 and I met my now-husband on an avatar-based chat forum called Habbo Hotel.  I was trying it out for the first time, seeing what it was like, and had my little avatar approach another who was sitting his own.  We started talking, swapped email addresses and started chatting on MSN Messenger, eventually swapping phone numbers and becoming quite close friends.  I had a long-distance boyfriend at the time, who dumped me about a month after I started talking to Michael (I later found out he was cheating on me) and Michael was there for me the whole way through - he provided a "shoulder to cry on", said I could call him any time, etc.
About 2 months after my BF and I split, I'd noticed my developing feelings for Michael, and asked him (straight out!) if he would be interested in trying a long-distance relationship.  He said he hadn't done it before, but was willing to try.  We started "dating" on the 10th November 2003.
I met up with him in secret in the December of 2003 (a completely stupid thing for me to do, really, considering I was only 15 and meeting a person I truly didn't know - but I guess I just knew) - and he was everything I wanted.  Compassionate, loving, strong, taller than me (which was a bonus, being 5'8"!), and gentle.  We spent a couple of nights together before he flew back home.
We continued to speak to each other every night, he'd pay for my phone credit so I could call him, and eventually I told my parents in about the April following.  I can't really remember him initially meeting my parents, but I do remember him sitting on the couch at their house and trying to convince them to let me go back to Melbourne with him, since it was the Easter break.  His mum spoke to my mum on the phone, reassured her that everything was okay, etc. and my mum caved, said ok and that was really the beginning.
We've been together ever since - got engaged on the 1st January 2007, married on the 7th November 2009 and are expecting our first child in November this year :)
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Blessings,
Terri xx

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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #21 on: July 30, 2012, 09:05:39 AM »

I totally agree with the idea that love finds you when you're least expecting it. I had only been in one relationship prior to coming to college and it was not a very good one. I didn't realize it at the time, but he was kind of emotionally abusive and it was just a bad situation. After that I had chased a few other guys, but none of them ever returned my feelings. By my second year in college I had totally given up on ever finding love.

But like a lot of others who have posted, the moment I lost hope was when the universe finally decided to bring all the coincidences that had been happening without my knowledge together. Last spring I started working at my current job and for the first semester I didn't really know anyone. As summer began though I started talking to my now boyfriend. We would chat after our shifts from time to time, but nothing too intense. I thought nothing of it until I noticed I was starting to look for him at work and hope that he would be there. I ignored my feelings though since I had given up on love.

One day though I randomly mentioned that I wanted to go hiking and he said he would go if I wanted to. But it was too hot so we called it off. It took a few days to build up the nerve to do it, but I eventually asked him if he wanted to try again and to my complete astonishment, he said yes. So we went for a hike and talked the whole time. I still didn't think anything would come of it though. We hung out a few more times however and one night while we were watching Doctor Who together he accidentally touched my hand. I saw the look of terror on his face as he realized it and I took my chance and grabbed his hand. A huge wave of relief washed over both of us. We started dating a few days later and we're now coming up on our one year anniversary in two days.

During this past year we've discovered a number of coincidences that seem to indicate that we were meant to be together. We were at a show together and even met a year before we started actually talking. We were also in two musical ensembles together for a year and didn't know. In fact his mom has a picture of him in one of the ensembles and if you look closely you can see me. There are some other things too, but those two were particularly surprising.

I think the universe has a way of making things happen when it comes to love. It's amazing how it can bring two people together without them even knowing it. I also strongly believe that we find love once we stop looking. Maybe it's because when we stop looking the universe is able to finally do what it needs to, or maybe it's because once we stop searching so hard we can relax a bit and focus on loving ourselves which is important for being able to love another person. Either way, I think things always work out in the end. It's just a matter of being patient enough to wait and trusting the universe enough to help you out when you need it.
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Re: How Did You End Up With Your Partner?
« Reply #22 on: August 29, 2012, 05:40:25 AM »

My story has already been told. You can read about it here
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“There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do.” - Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor.
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